come undone

"I a Tye-gah"

That's "I'm a tiger" in czar-speak.

This year he had fun. We spent a few hours at the Bronx Zoo for their "Boo at the Zoo" day. Weenjoyed a haunted hayride, a haystack maze, magic and music...but best of all...THE ANIMALS WERE OUT! All of them! Lions, tigers...YAY! 

Back home, we attempted to trick-or-treat at a few neighbors'. No one answeredtheir damn door. It was 4:00 on a Saturday. COME ON. People suck...they really do. My kid willingly in a costume and so proud to be a tiger and they won't open your friggin' door. We are soooo not talking to them in the elevator.

He also skipped lunch and had half a pumpkin of candy.Hey, it's Halloween.

Here's my tiger strutting his stuff:

where have I been?

Everywhere. 

The czar is enjoying school and loving his sports class. His bestest buddy is in his sports class and that's all he talks about. They do everything together and are all over one another. They beat the crap out of one another and move on. They're cute together. The days they're together are good days.

Other days are filled with defiance, insanity and urine...that's right, URINE. When he's not yelling at me, he's urinating on his bookshelf, the carpet and (get ready...) in the refrigerator. My son opened the door and peed in the friggin' fridge folks. No, I don't have a lock on the door because I can't get one to fit the oldest fridge in the world, so don't start giving me speeches about that. As far as peeing goes, he is indeed potty trained...this is just spite work at its best. We're not getting along these days, which I'm told is because of his age...em, ok. I'm hoping he grows out of this shit really soon because I am exhausted. I haven't vented to others because I don't want advice. I have no time to hear about people's SIL who had it worse or someone's friend who did this and that...sick of that shit. Just let me have a few hours to myself. Thanks...

To add the the beauty that is my life, my parents decided to buy a winter home in Florida and were gone all month. For the past 4 weeks I lost my babysitter...my break...it's been difficult...like I found siiting in the dentist's chair for a cap replacement and wisdom tooth yank was more restful than being at home. My parents will return in January and stay down there a few months. I'm freaking out because that's when we're supposed to begin construction in our new condo (still in the works) is to begin. I found a young girl in my building who has offered to babysit. The problem is that she wants to get paid. PAID? Where's the charity? What's with people wanting to make money these days?

The good thing that happening is that I kinda found a hobby. When the tasks of the day are done, I found something that keeps the creative part of me alive...which is sooo important to my well being.  I've been helping to promote a new artist named Cassidy Haley. I'm assisting others in laying down the framework for his street team. I've done some graphics for his websites, a few flyers and a logo. It's actually been quite fun...and the fact that this person is so appreciative of what I do makes me feel good and the fact that I can come and go as I please makes it so wonderful. It's not a paying gig, but it's been a great creative outlet for me. Meeting an artist at the very start of his career is fun too. If interested, here he is: www.cassidyhaley.com. When he plays in the NYC area, I will harass my buddies to go see him...(I'm thinking of you, Susan!)  Drinks on me. I know I could use a few.

And that's it. Not sure if anything i wrote makes sense, but I'm OK with that. Will try not to disappear again...

and they're off...

Kate and the little person are now at the airport awaiting take off....while I'm sad to see them go, home is where they need to be. 

A new chapter begins.

fyi

So a certain someone and her daughter are in from Russia. All is well.

All are tired, too. 

And if anyone is wondering, she's a beauty. And for a split second I thought about going back to Russia, but finally decided to stay put.

telling like it is (I curse at kids, etc.)

As usual, it's been a bit busy around here and I haven't had a free moment to think. Oh, and my son is satanic these days, but what else is new? 

He is potty trained. Generally. The accidents he has are not accidets. I call them "fuck you situations." He doesn't have "fuck you" in his vocabulary just yet, so he will pee or crap everywhere when he needs to let me know he's super angry. I'm thinking implenting "fuck you" may be the way to preserve my sanity. It's easier for me to handle than a few explosions.

Certainly, a "fuck you" could have been useful at yesterday's birthday party. There were some little girls behaving very badly towards my son (one of which was his own cousin!) and I know a good "fuck you" would have been so empowering...for me anyway. The same goes for the older kid that was punching my son right in front of me, but I'm thinking a kick to the jaw would have been more exciting. I know...I have class, but I get ten points for restraint. Kids will be kids, but being a complete shit is uncalled for. I just don't think it's OK. If I left my son to his own devices he would have slugged everyone (think baptismal reception from the summer when my son was accused of belting everyone), but instead i removed him from the situation a few times and we played outside in the rain. I wasn't quiet about it though, which is how I roll. Again, I'm a class act...can't wait to see the same crowd at a birthday party in November.

Preschool is fine, believe it or not. They got him to eat tortellini and fish sticks, so Im impressed with the establishment. I could never get that stuff passed his lips. Last week a woman from Musical Munchkins came to sing with them and the czar FREAKED when the maracas came out. This happened twice at Gymboree andI didn't think anything of it, but here we go again. The czar's teachers didn't know what to do for my screaming czar but Miss Gina managed to calm him down. This music lady returns in October and I'm curious to see what happens when those maracas come out again. I'm gonna sneek a peek that day, My baby! We're also hosting Snack Day at school. I'd love to throw Halloween candy at everyone, but apparently there's this healthy snack rule that must be observed...people don't know what they're missin'...

It's 8AM and my son is still asleep. I think it's gonna be a good day. We're off today to find leaves for school..."leaf rubbing" is on the agenda this week. Yay leaves! 

Oh, and we're buying our first home, a condominium. After 8 years of renting, it feels good to finally make a purchase and make something our own. It's a good stepping stone for us, and yeah, it's exciting to be able to paint my walls whatever color I want. We hope to be in sometime in January. It's in our building which is a good thing. We're close to the Bronx and Manhattan and that makes me happy...think friends, zoos, museums, parks...and Christmas in New York! Man, I love that Saks Fifth Avenue building around the holidays...

Wednesday

The czar seems to like preschool — once he's there. He is not a morning person and having to leave home at 8:45 goes against everything he believes in. Our preschool mornings begin with tears but I am convinced he's just trying to play me. At camp, tears and peeing/crapping yourself meant mommy got called in. That doesn't happen here so he has to do what he can at home or in the car. Once he's around his teachers and the other kids he's happy. I know this beause I spied on him.

We had a parent information meeting for the school last week. My husband and I had a chance to speak with the director, the new head teacher (who's a mom of 3 and blah blah blah) and the two teacher assitants. It seems we are all on the same page...and it seems I let my emotions run high when we all met previously, and they understood, and I understood and it was all good. Our conversation with the director ended with a hug and kiss which was surprising but ok. My talk with her illustrated how things work in that school and I'm liking it. It's a granola kind of place and my son can do his thing and be happy...and they feed him and he eats what's put in front of him and that's friggin' exciting. 

Potty training: I think we're there, kinda sorta. And that's all I can say because I don't want to jinx it.

kate is a mom

It happened! My friend Kate is a mom. I am so, so happy for her. A new journey begins now. I can't wait!

icky post, like seriously...

I think it's terrible that all I discuss lately is pee and poop, but it's the center of our universe lately..like, my hands STINK and I can't get rid of the scent — that's how often we're having "accidents" around here. Oh it's sickening. He did OK in school and went through three pairs of Thomas and Lightening McQueen underwear in three hours. At home, he began to pee on the floor, pee on his cars and — my absolute favorite — crap in his pants excessively. 

I'm tired. And I ran out of quarters for the machines downstairs and I forgot to get more when I went out. I purchased over 40 pairs of underwear and honestly, it just ain't enough.

Day 6...damnit.

day one

  

The well oiled machine that is preschool sucked in my child.  Driving over was interesting: "I'm not going. I don't want to go. I'm not going."  Four teachers were ushering screaming children into the backyard. My child became one of those screaming little people. He was swooped up by a kind-faced, enthusiastic teacher and shown the cars. I was escorted down the driveway by the director who gave me a hug and a kiss (?!) and told me we will have a successful school year. I kinda liked that...

So I'm home with coffee and will indulge in some facebook then organize the workload in the inbox.  Noon comes fast.

I also have to mention that I was awakened by the sound of the czar urinating in the toilet. By himself! His pullup was DRY! Exciting.

he was ready...

Beginning day 3 of potty training and he's doing just fine. Really. I think I overreacted a bit at the preschool...still pissed they changed a policy, but feeling a bit stupid because they knew my son would be fine if I took their advice...for the fourth time in the past 12 months, I've resorted to exclusive underwear use. It was always a disaster and I felt I was pushing him...this school thing pissed me off and I thought I'd try it again. It's friggin' working BUT I must say it's been a year and I'd like to think that SOMETHING I did along the way clicked. Whatever...day 3 and he goes alone, standing, with various techniques: hand on wall, one leg on toilet, etc. It's amazing and I'm proud of my czar. 

Of course now I have to think about where bathrooms are everwhere I go and the ide aof using one at a supermarket completely schkeeves me out.  i should start implicating the pee-in-a-soda-bottle technique now. He'll be doing it when he starts driving anyway.